Grab a drink, grab a snack, let’s chat!
You have no idea how happy I am to be saying “Hello May!” April was the school of life that I did not sign up for, bruh! I was unmotivated and overwhelmed, and boy was I in my head! I found myself understanding things I wish I did not have to realize. I had to break down sometimes and push through and when I did, I made so many wonderful, painful realizations that I had to accept. But would you think I was crazy if I also said that April was the best month of my life? 👀 Lol, hear me out…
In April, a lot happened and a lot did not happen, it was more internal, more introspective. It was a really wonderful month. It feels like the beginning of something new.
This was the month that I fell off track with my routine, this was the month I lost my granddad, and this was the month that with my company, I had to learn how to stand my ground and advocate for myself. I handled so much, I was constantly balancing a lot and the weight did not get lighter, I got stronger. Honestly, I am now amazed by what I can accomplish in 24 hours.
So yeah, April was a lot of work, a lot of alone time, and a lot of time discovering myself. That’s why I loved it so much, I feel different. April kept me, it protected me, it moulded me, and the universe gave me the room and the solitude to grow.
Alright, Let’s get into my April Favs
A Book I Read - Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
I think anyone who survived being raised by Nigerian parents, just by their very nature needs therapy 😂, but this book was the healing I did not know I needed. Not even in a bad way, but it allowed me to see things from my parent’s point of view. It allowed me to see myself as a child and see the way I painted the picture of my experiences and find healing, and acceptance. Honestly, this book needs to be read by everyone. It dives into the different types of emotionally immature parents, from the really bad to the very simple, and how their actions affect children. This is where I got the two types of personalities: Internalizers and Externalizers in my article. Gosh, not only did this book show me myself, in the most honest and humbling way, but it gave me solutions, it also showed me that with our parents, give them grace, they were raised probably under worse circumstances, and we are in an aware generation, everything is new to them too, So know that you cannot change the situation, you can just know, and understand. This book sent me on a spiral of healing, it made me better.
Song on Replay - Anchor
I mean, I wrote a whole article inspired by Novo Amor, so duh, of course. I couldn’t even pick one, every song he has ever created has been on replay, but if I had to pick one, it would be ‘Anchor’. I listen to it on my long walks, I listen to it while I’m working, I read it while I’m reading, I listen to it all the time. It just feels like my current state in life, if that means anything.
An App I am Currently Loving - ‘Sincerely’
Hear me out before you judge, lol… If you are tired of scrolling on social media and looking for something different, a break from this crazy world, there is this app that is my guilty pleasure, it is called ‘Sincerely’. The best way to describe it is an anonymous messaging app that allows you to read notes submitted by users who just need to vent, ask a question, or share a secret, or anything that’s on their mind. And you can, if you want to, respond. These anonymous notes can have anything inside, but believe me, people always have the most beautiful, sad, wondrous, hopeful things to say. This app is where I go to when I am really sad, and, weirdly, I do not feel like talking to anyone. It’s like therapy, and if you don’t have anything to say, it will ask you deep questions that you can publish anonymously, and again, get support from people you don’t know, from anywhere in the world!
A Netflix “Must See!” - Winter on Fire, Ukraine’s Fight For Freedom
Maybe it is because I was at The End Sars Protests and also witnessed the disastrous decline of our electoral process and the overall state of the nation, but I did not know what I was getting myself into when I sat to watch this documentary. It’s a historical masterpiece about how the youth in Ukraine, for over 93 days!!, placed the country at a standstill as they protested against the administration and its NATO decisions. Look, this was a fun protest at first, but it became a deadly movement and the documentary takes you into everything - how it started, how it progressed, how they fought, how they managed themselves… Look! When people use the word “riveting”… this documentary is about resilience in motion. It gave me goosebumps! I kept hearing myself saying “Nigeria see your mates!” every 20 minutes. Amazing watch! Please if you have watched it, or when you do, come back to let me know your thoughts. I need to talk about it.
A Podcast that Resonated with Me - There’ll always be more to say
Your work will NEVER be perfect because there is ALWAYS something you can do, you can fix, you can change, you can improve, you can add, or you can edit. If you focus only on that, you will never get it out there. Think of the most talented people…you think Oscar winners don’t have some mistake that only they can see, that they can’t get out of their heads? Do you think the greatest artist doesn’t feel like there is a flaw in his biggest work? Do you think your favourite singer 100% loves all the songs they put out? But the shit still drops. Drop that shit, it will never be completely perfect, because it is yours, and by our very nature, we are incomplete…so you can never look at anything from a state of completion. Drop this one, and put your efforts, into the next one, and I promise you, that one will not also be complete, you just get better, the more you act.
What’s the point of dying with all your ideas? You could either execute on an imperfect version of your ideas or die only with the illusion that you had an idea you could create the perfect version of. There is always more to say. There is always more to do. Drop the illusion that everything has to be perfect. Create imperfectly and accept that it will never be finished. This podcast is a call to action to ACT! Now! Stop holding off on your dreams, your art, your passions, your tasks, or your creativity. Always lying to yourself that it needs a better edit, better equipment, you need to review it one more time, or speak to one more person about the idea. You are just denying yourself, and others, your work.
So ACT! Please!
Current Health Kick: MSM Powder
I'm a huge fan of MSM powder. I call it the fountain of youth! Sure, it might not be the tastiest thing (It is REALLY bitter), but for me, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Let. me try and explain: as women, a key player in keeping us energetic and youthful is our sulphur levels. This essential mineral plays a vital role in keeping our hair, nails, skin, and even our energy levels on point. I remember learning a long time ago from my mum that, as we age, our sulfur levels naturally decline.
MSM, short for Methylsulfonylmethane, is a supplement with a sulfur compound that replenishes our sulfur stores. That's why I call it the fountain of youth! I have sworn by it for years now. I stopped taking it for a while, because It is really hard to drink (it is bitter, again I have warned you) but the benefits are incredible. My energy levels are always through the roof, my hair and nails grow like crazy, and my skin feels unbelievably supple (weird, but true!).
I usually mix it into my morning coffee – the strong flavour overpowers the bitter MSM.
Important Note: I'm not a doctor, so while I can share my experience, it's always best to consult yours before starting any new supplements.
A YouTube Video You Need to Watch
A Quote that got me through the month
Turn your everyday, typical, boring, difficult, most mundane things into a fun game…have fun…have fun! Look at the things you’ve taken for granted in a different light. Look at your bad days from a comedic standpoint. Look up. Look around. Look at yourself. Look at things. I dunno I’m just talking at this point but please, have fun!
Some of you are living in the goals and dreams you said would make you happy
-Alex Hormozi
The Money Shot
Took this on my way to a meeting. Gorge!
What Did April Teach Me?
I learned that you can have the greatest vision for your life, and people may not believe in that vision, but you are going to go ahead with it anyway. You are the only one who is going to believe in your vision as much as you. People may join you, but you are the engine that keeps it running.
I learned that saying no is the most liberating thing ever. Disappointing people momentarily will save you from future stress. Saying the truth, especially when you need to protect your energy, actually saves 2 people. It is only that one person can see it right now. I overcame my people-pleasing tendencies by a lot! I cancelled plans, I said No, I told people my capabilities and I realized it was better to let people down than to drag them around
I learned that a sense of self-worth is the greatest foundation for every other thing you need in your life.
I learned that the right people feel like home. You will never feel weird or out of place if you are with the people who were sent to be with you.
I experienced loss, and seeing my grandpa, dead on his bed, showed me the fickleness of life, and all we have in this life is the short time we are given. We cannot complete it all, but damn..make the best use of it. The body is nothing but a vessel, what makes us human is the spirit that is inside us, our source of life.
I learned that you are going to have to prove twice as hard to people who do not value you. The mental gymnastics are hard. Value is subjective, which means there are loads to go around. Just because someone does not see my value, does not mean that it is any less or diminished. I do not have to prove my worth to anyone.
I learned that I have to honour my routines, my downtimes, and my rituals. If I deny myself, and my pleasures, and if I do not hold myself accountable to the promises I made to myself, then I will not be able to treat myself right. And if I do not treat myself right, it will spill over into every area of my life.
I understood that no one deserves to be around me, that does not think I am pure light and I think the same about them. I want everything in my life to have value. I met some pretty amazing people who showed me this :)
May Intentions
I gave April all of me, and it took! So May feels like a reward. This May, I want to show up for myself. I want to strengthen my discipline and consistency. I want to be the best me that I can be. I want to curate my life, and my routine beautifully, I want to live, explore, and discover, I want to read, oh I want to read a lot more books! I want to honour my “No’s”, speak my truth, be kind to myself, and be forgiving to myself. I want to become more of the person I now know I am. That is how I want to show up, Like the person I know I am about to be.
I wish you the same and a beautiful month of May ✨🧡
This is a very detailed newsletter.
Thank you so much.
I will drop a review when I read the recommended book. Your morning shot should be framed, it is pretty as well.